Description:
An Oklahoma girl's years of immersion in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery
Girl in a Box: Seeking Enlightenment as a Tibetan Buddhist Nun chronicles a five-year immersion in the paradigm-altering world of a Tibetan retreat center in New York's Hudson Valley. It weaves flashbacks of Collins' former life with her ongoing attempts to surrender to monastic life. She travels to India with her teacher, takes vows as a nun, then returns to life at the monastery where she works as a house cleaner days and evenings to earn money to attend a dreamed-of three-year retreat. In her struggle to become a stellar nun, she conducts a one-sided jealous rivalry with a beautiful and "perfect" young nun--whom she later discovers is hiding a shocking secret. She also describes the grueling practice of performing over 100,000 prostrations and her disillusionment upon learning of the imperfect humanity of her revered teachers.
As the underlying grace of those years spent with the Tibetans come into focus, Collins sees that she is like a girl who packs her suitcase and sets off down the road only to discover she has nowhere to go. What she is seeking--the very "home" she longs for--has been right there all along. Hiding in plain sight; masked in a cloak of the suffering she so longs to escape. Overlooked. Because, as the Tibetans teach--it's too simple, too obvious, too close.
Review Quotes:
"With vivid prose and a storyteller's grace, this memoir traces Paldrom's decades-long spiritual quest for enlightenment--from Southern Baptist beginnings to the grueling intensity of a Tibetan Buddhist retreat. With unflinching honesty, she invites readers into the heart of devotion, disillusionment, doubt, and ultimately, the quiet clarity of coming home to herself. Uplifting and deeply human, her journey is a testament to the truth that what we seek is already our true nature--waiting to be seen, felt, and lived." --Dr. Gail Brenner, author of The End of Self-Help and Suffering Is Optional
"Girl in a Box asks, 'How do I find relief from suffering?' And 'How do I find a home for my heart?' Reading Paldrom's memoir is like taking a long walk with a dear and wise friend, one who tells her story with the kind of vulnerability that helps you to see and tell your own." --Emily Conway, writer, spiritual companion, and creator of A Thin Space Substack, and the Threshold podcast
"In lucid prose, Collins acknowledges the beauty of Buddhism while emphasizing the flexibility of a spiritual tradition where pursuing awakening can mean turning away from institutional practice. It's a frank, refreshingly nontraditional take on what spiritual growth looks like."--Publishers Weekly